January 2009
13 posts
Joe Buck Ruins Everything: The Play
This is the second in a series in which the author imagines Joe Buck calling a famous sports event, ruining it for posterity, much as he did for the glorious Helmet Catch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfebpLfAt8g
Looks like Stanford’s gonna squib…Cal gets it at the forty, they opt not to run out of bounds and Rogers laterals it…two laterals at midfield but they’re moving backward…but now Rogers...
How To Know You're Growing Up (or Getting Old)
thejerkstore:
Ask yourself this question: If you could have a permanent 3 day weekend, would you chose Friday or Monday to be your designated 3rd day? Of course the young, single crowd will pick Friday, giving them another going out night and a hangover recovery day free from responsibility. I used to feel this way. But over the past few years, more and more, having Friday off would do nothing...
“There, we wear madras with no sense of irony, and drink scotch until we can...”
– Jennifer Wright on her hometown. (via johncarney)
“To this day, whenever I hear women talk about how Jewish men make better husbands, I think of that moment, and decide that they are probably 100% correct. I refrain from expressing that sentiment in anything but lock-jawed, Kennedy-esque...
A Brief History of the Gore Administration
Today is a melancholy one, as one of the finest presidents of our lifetime, Al Gore, has to leave office (lousy 22nd Amendment). His eight years have bought pain and prosperity, grief and growth, but he leaves the country better than he found it; safer and more prosperous. Here’s a quick recap of the last eight years of Pax Americana:
January 2001:
Gore’s approval rating reaches 65% after a...
Joe Buck Ruins Everything: Miracle on Ice
The other day at Deadspin I noted how sadly hilarious it would be if Joe Buck had announced great moments in sports history and ruined them. The first call he would have butchered: the Miracle on Ice. Let’s go to the tape: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGACsSW4Iqw
Buck: “Morrow passes to Silk…he clears it…looks like the Soviets won’t be able to regroup…and...
“Youkilis: Wife’s family ‘major factor’ in staying”
– -ESPN Headline
At first I thought he took that deal because he had a shitty agent. I forgot that a Jewish guy would probably be p-whipped by his wife.
Funny status update of the week
X is really going to miss President Bush and is pretty damn terrified for her safety under the Obamassiah.
Talk about not jumping on the bandwagon
“Well, I’ll say two years and it will be four. I don’t know. I mean,...”
– Our outgoing president, on his book. Very reassuring that he’s going to get ‘er done. What’s the title? George the President Guy in: Witless Election? The White-Collar Masquerading as Blue Collar Presidentin’ Tour?
Football Truism
thejerkstore:
If a team has a white quarterback and a white tight end, they will inevitably become very close friends. You can take it to the bank.
*Notable exception: Jeremy Shockey. No one is friends with Jeremy Shockey.
I pointed out the Shockey exception. Another truism: Brandon Jacobs and Darren Sproles have proved anybody can play running back as long as he’s black.
“We have to do it in the Facebook, with the Twittering, the different technology...”
– RNC Chair Mike Duncan, on courting younger voters
(via Chris)
(via nicksummers)
(via urg)
I take so much pleasure in this statement it ought to be illegal. (via lizlemon)
I wonder when Republicans will figure out young people don’t vote for them because of their track record and policies,...
Lede from CNN.com story in 2104
Presidential historians were astounded to find that nobody worked in the Bush White House. They came to this shocking conclusion after finding not one person admitted to working there in his or her resume.
Teaching Europeans American Football
“In high school I was the kicker, he only comes in to kick the ball.”
“The kicker?…Oh! Like Ace Ventura!”
Yes, just like that.
