Some douchebags did a  “top 100 sports tweeters” list that you knew sucked because it had Darren Rovell and Ashton Kutcher on it.  Since I hate strat and love people who are actually funny, here are my top 25 Tweeters, with an example of his or her (there’s a girl on here!) brilliance.  Oh, and I’m putting myself number 1, because it’s my list and fuck you.

1.  Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel)

“If Kim Kardashian’s father were still alive, he could tell her that divorce is only the second-worst way for a marriage to end”

2.  Celebrity Hot Tub/Sir Broosk/Run Home Jack (@celebrityhottub)

“It’s a shame how some in sports media will do anything to drag a principled Christian athlete down. But I still support you, Cade McNown.”

3.  Danger Guerrero (@DangerGuerrero)

“Before everyone rushes to judgment about this Herman Cain thing, shouldn’t we at least hear the other candidates’ songs about pizza?”

4.  Drew Magary (@drewmagary)

“Any time they cut to Rob Ryan screaming into his headset, I assume it’s because he’s demanding the booth play him some Foghat.”

5.  Spencer Hall (@edsbs)

“Actually, Bin Laden was probably run over by George Washington in a Dodge Challenger.”

6.  Gourmet Spud (@GourmetSpud)

“American friends: we are with you today. Because 9 times 11 equals 99, and his loss was *our* darkest day.”

7.  Matt Sussman (@suss2hyphens)

“Red Wings fans made quite a mess downtown, thinking it was called #OctopiWallStreet”

8.  Butter Chicken (@MrButterChicken)

“When Sarah Palin competed in the “Miss Alaska” pageant, she won the title of Miss Cegenation.”

9.  Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker)

“That’s when Tim Tebow carried you. #6wordstories”

10.  Jerk Store Mike (@jerkstoremike)

“Has anyone considered the possibility that a rich Venezuelan power plant owner kidnapped Wilson Ramos to be a ringer on the softball team?”

11.  Matt Ufford (@mattufford)

“Whoa, your mom’s dishwasher is all filled up and ready to go. http://drooled.tumblr.com/post/11671853238”

12.  Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood)

“Eli Manning wants to have neck surgery, too. You get all the ice cream you can eat!”

13.  Shakey (@Real_Shakey)

“The fuck? Mickey Rooney isn’t Andy Rooney?!”

14.  Lieutenant Winslow (@lt_winslow)

“rick perry’s plan to reduce unemployment involves a LOT of executions”

15.  Holly Anderson (@Nastinchka and @SIHolly, but you only really need to follow @Nastinchka)

“No pain quite so ethereal as seeing an ex go vegan. Survivor’s guilt setting in. Can’t help thinking, ‘Was there something I could’ve done?’”

16.  Doug Gillett (@CaptainAnnoying)

“Irene = corporate media hype. The storm I’M really into is this tropical depression forming off west Africa you’ve probably never heard of.”

17.  Barry Petchesky (@barryap1)

“White Mike Vick drives like *this*. But Black Mike Vick drives like *this*.”

18.  UF Greek Girl (@UFGreekGirl)

“I don’t know why, but the thought of a child rapist buying candy at Sam’s Club to lure little kids into his van just strikes me as cocky.”

19.  Arkansas Fred (@ArkansasFred)

“Hey, everyone. This is Fred’s ex girlfriend. Just wanted to let you know he’s the best and I screwed it all up. HUGE regret.”

20.  David Matthews (@d2thematthews)

[on Rosh Hashanah]

“Happy Ronkonkoma to all my followers flying into Islip Airport!”

21.  Cajun Boy (@thecajunboy)

“Rick Perry’s unsure if Obama’s birth certificate is real. That’s because his area of expertise is limited to death certificates.”

22.  Ashley Burns (@MayorBurnsy)

“FACT: Jennifer Lopez reps Fiat because she parks one in her cervix.”

23.  Rob Iracane (@iracane)

“26 years ago today, Pete Rose broke the all-time hits record. 25 years ago today he bet $1,000 on the outcome of an episode of Double Dare.”

24.  Luke Zimmerman (@lukezim)

“Did anyone consider the possibility that someone in Zanesville was playing Jumanji?”

25.  Pour Me Coffee (@pourmecoffee)

“U.N. General Assembly session this week in NY. I hear a lot of countries are thinking of going to PAC-12 or maybe ACC.”

Go forth and follow, my minions.  And, if you’re mad, sorry I didn’t put you on here.